Say What You Need To Say
by Schizzar
Summary: An uncertain future might have been better. Then she wouldn't be so afraid. Serah/Noel, spoilers galore. SPOILERS.


**I should be working on my Pokemon fic but ever since I finished Final Fantasy XIII-2 I couldn't help but write this. I'm not normally into het pairings either but Serah and Noel are just so unbelievably perfect together. :D So I had to write this. I also ship Noel and Hope so expect some of that in the future too.**

**I hope you all like it, reviews are loved, and I don't own Final Fantasy XIII-2**

It was hard, seeing all the pain Noel had gone through before reaching Valhalla. Everything about him was finally laid out before her, and all she wanted to do was hug him. At least now he had nothing to hide. Serah poked at the fire with a stick as Noel continued to prepare their dinner, watching him through the flames. He looked happier than he had in the entire time she had known him, confident, and for that she was glad. He could carry the confidence she didn't feel. She prodded again at the flames.

There was a deep ache, down in her chest. It was cold, seeping at her will no matter how hard she fought against it. She had told Noel that it was okay, that she was willing to take the risk of dying if it meant they could fix the future, but she was scared. Maybe he knew that, she didn't know, couldn't tell, didn't want to ask. She didn't want to die, but that feeling told her that she would.

"Serah."

"Hm?" She looked up, resisting the urge to flinch when she saw how serious his gaze was. It was that gaze that said he was looking right through her.

"It's going to be okay."

He set the knife down, and the food, shifting over to sit beside her. When he looked at her again, she couldn't help herself. The tears over-flowed and she threw herself at him, arms wrapping tight around his neck as she cried. His hands rested lightly at her back, thumbs rubbing at soothing circles as she curled close, losing herself to the whirlwind of emotions.

They were just lying to themselves. Pretending it was going to be okay even though they both knew that it was impossible, that there was no way she was going to make it out alive.

"I can't," she whispered as she gained control of herself once more. "I can't do this Noel."

He didn't respond at first, one hand simply sliding up her back to pet her hair, and she could feel him frown as he pressed his lips to her forehead. She couldn't tell if she was looking for reassurance. After all, what could he say? _You can do it! You can die for everyone else._

As if it was that easy. It was all well and good to say that you were willing to die to save the world but now, when she was staring it down? It wasn't so easy to accept when it was so close, creeping closer with every passing moment.

"We don't have to," he said, his words whispered into her temple. "We can stay here, forever if you wanted."

"We can't," she said, fingers clenching at his shirt. "We have to save the world."

"No," he said. "If you want to live your life, we will. We can go back to New Bodhum. Snow will be there; you can go back to your old life. If that's what you want...I'm behind you."

Serah didn't speak, pressing closer as she thought. Noel's hands weren't as big as Snow's, but his touch was gentler, comforting. His hand rubbed leisurely over her back, the other rubbing soothing circles into the back of her neck as she nestled into his neck.

"I don't...I can't..." Her tears began anew, but Noel just held her, let her cry herself out once more. It was only when she began to calm down once more that she realized he was crying as well, his tears splashing into her hair. "I can't abandon the world, Noel."

"I know. It's not who you are," he said, his voice raw.

"So I guess...we keep going," she said quietly. She pulled herself away from, struggling up onto her feet and walking away from the fire to stare up at the moon, its light bouncing off of Cocoon. "We save the world and I...I die."

She lost herself to her thoughts once more. She would never return to Snow, never hug him again. She'd never go shopping with Yuj, never marvel over Macqui's inventions, never stay up late talking with Lebreau, never argue with Gadot. Never again. Did Yeul know what she was missing, truly? She had been young, barely fifteen when she left the world. But Serah, she had tasted what the world had to offer, she was older, had experienced life and fallen in love. Had her heart broken and mended. She knew all that the world had to offer. In the end...she was jealous of the younger Seeress.

Calloused hands cupped her elbows, tugging her back to lean against Noel's chest. The hands slid up over her shoulders, arms slipping down to wrap her in his loose embrace.

"Do you want to see him? One more time?"

She shook her head. "Snow...he's in the past now. All of them are. Goodbyes...they would just make it harder. They'd try and stop me, sacrifice the world for me, and I can't let that happen."

"I would sacrifice the world for you," Noel said, his voice quiet in her ear.

She stiffened. "Noel-"  
"But I won't. Because even if we go back to New Bodhum and you try and live out your life, you would be sad. You would know the truth of your actions, and I couldn't stand to see you live through the guilt," he said.

Serah let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, then turned in his grasp to look up at him. His blue eyes glowed in the moonlight, bright with his own tears. "Noel..."

"I'm so sorry," he said, pressing his forehead to hers. "If I could change it, I would, but I won't become Caius. I'm not going to destroy the world for you."

Serah couldn't stop the bitter laugh that escaped her lips, a few stray tears making their way down her cheeks. "That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me. You...understand me better than most, Noel Kreiss. "

"Hm?"

"Snow...all he ever did was talk about how he'd say hell to everything if it would save me but...no one ever thought about what I felt. No one ever considered that maybe, I would rather die if it would keep everyone else safe," she said. She pulled back out of his grasp, turning away. "Don't get me wrong. If I could get out of this alive, I would. But it's not meant to be that way."

Noel stepped up beside her once more only to sit down on the dew-covered grass, gaze turned to the heavens. "Thank you, Serah."

"No...thank you, Noel." She met his gaze when he looked up at her, smiling. "You believed in me, respected my decisions when no one else would. So thank you. You've made life...happier for me."

Serah looked away again, unable to stare into his eyes much longer. More than anything, she was going to miss his eyes, his smile. Nothing else even came to close.

"Serah, you...you've showed me happiness too. When I was in my time...I never knew happiness. From the time I was born until the moment Etro took me to Valhalla, I knew nothing of true happiness," he said. "My moments with Yeul were the closest I got, but travelling with you, meeting the people we have, and fighting beside you...I was merely a shadow of what I am now."

Serah froze, his words piercing through. She had made him happy. She had...done something right. When she faced him again, it was with a smile, warm and inviting, the first true smile she had given in awhile. "I'm glad."

Noel got to his feet, stepping close once more and wrapping his arms around her waist. He was so warm, his smile so gentle. "I refuse to go on with any regrets. I love you, Serah Farron."

"Noel..." She couldn't stop smiling. Here, at the end of the world, she could be herself. She could be honest in her desires, her wishes. "If we had more time...I if I could do things over...I would be with you forever."

"Be with me now, be with me forever, here," he said, grabbing her hand and dragging it up to his chest to place it above his beating heart. "When you're gone, when you have mended the world, I will carry on your memory."

"Should I be more afraid? We're discussing my death so casually, I feel like I should be scared, but I'm not, not anymore," she said.

"We've accepted our fate, we can't go back now," he said, stepping back. "I've laid out my feelings, and you've laid out yours. We don't have room for any more regrets. From now on, we do things your way."

She couldn't stop smiling, her chest warm and full of some feeling that she just couldn't put her finger on. "Thank you Noel."

"You gotta stop saying that," he said, finger brushing across her lips as he moved closer. "Don't thank me for treating you the way you deserve. You're your own person, Serah. Even if I wish it could be different, I will always respect your decisions."

"Noel..." Serah moved closer, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. But words couldn't help her now, so instead she pressed her lips to his before he could say anything more.

They had already said what they needed to say.

His lips were warm and soft beneath hers, and after his initial surprise, he kissed her back. When the kiss deepened, his taste flooded her mouth, making a tingle shoot down to her toes and back up as his hands roamed over her back, fingers occasionally brushing across the smooth skin of her sides.

How had she ever mistaken this feeling for what she had felt for Snow?


End file.
